There are many, many scriptures which tell us self-control is a desirable quality to possess, but how does one obtain it? This question has been pondered much over the past several weeks as I've evaluated my ability to master myself. I've made no conclusions as of yet, except this one. It begins with submission.
What??!! Submission!!!! I won't do it! (followed by the crossing of arms, stamping of foot and sticking out of bottom lip, mixed with several heavy sighs) For many it is such a terrible word, because in a way, it means surrendering all control. How can that be? Could learning to have control of ourselves begin with first surrendering complete control?
Picture this: a guide dog begins as a puppy. This puppy has specific needs and desires. He believes himself to be the master of obtaining those needs and desires and exhibits this belief in several undesirable behaviors. He rushes in to get the food, practically knocking over his master in the process. He jumps on everyone who walks in the door, thinking this will get the attention and petting he so desperately desires. He roots in the trash when no one's looking, thinking he will get a treat. He ends up with a tummy ache.
At some point, with love and guidance from his master, the dog chooses to submit to the training--even the uncomfortable parts. He sees there is greater benefit to submitting than to going his own way. At this point, he learns the necessary skills to not only survive this life, but to be successful and purposeful. Once he has completed his training, he has learned to control those early urges to fulfill his desires in his own time, by his own methods. He has learned to wait on his master. He has also learned to lead and protect those who cannot do so for themselves.
He could not have done this without first submitting to the training which honed his senses and taught him there are better, greater and more valuable things at hand than just food and a pat on the head.
Now back to us. I've found that submitting for me finds its reality in choosing to sit with the Word, in the presence of God, on a daily basis. It means choosing to come to the one and only true God--the only One who knows what tomorrow will bring, before acting on my emotions. I do not always adhere to this form of submission and when I don't, I find that I am corrected.
Correction is good. The Bible says so, and if I am honest, I find that my own life verifies this as fact. Without correction, I would not be moving closer and closer to this fruit of the Spirit called self-control. But it is not easy.
Often, I find myself feeling like my spirit is literally being torn as I war with myself. I am decisive and once I've made a decision, I fight with everything I am to make it come to fruition. In these moments, God is telling me that if fruit is what I desire, then there is another path I need to follow. "The good trees are over here, " he tells me gently. "You don't want these. They're picked over and only the rotten fruit is left." Will I follow him? Can I trust him?
Trust is really the issue here, isn't it? In order for us to submit, we need to first know that we can trust God. His Word promises that he will never leave or forsake you (Joshua 1:5); that he has plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11); that you can do all things through His strength (Phillipians 4:13); that He is truth (John 14:6).
But how do you know that you can trust His Word? Try it. If what you're doing is not helping , not leading to positive resolutions of problems in your life, give God a shot. I promise he won't miss. Don't give into the temptation to make excuses for your behavior. Often Satan can give us some pretty big obstacles which seem like a reasonable excuse to behave however we choose instead of how He desires. Make no mistake though, this is still just an excuse. However, when you submit all decisions--all of your life--to God, you'll find yourself accepting the benefits of the fruits of His spirit, including self-control. Better, stronger relationships are among the best of these benefits.
This truth is what I've discovered over the last 9 years being a follower of Christ. Never has He taught me more on this topic than the last year. Why? I've chosen to submit to Him more than ever before. I've brought nearly every question of value to him and tested it against His word before deciding on an answer. I've waited for His peace before moving forward. I find myself more filled with his Grace and less apt to lack control over my emotions and negative temptations. I expect this will continue as long as I continue to submit.
Have you considered the strength of control you have over your reactions lately? Have you asked God how you're doing in this area? Maybe it's time.
"Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control." Proverbs 25:28
"Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the Grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed." 1 Peter 1:13
